There’s Rape then there’s Paedophilia

Age ain’t nothing but a number is a quote universally said and made by grown men for the purpose of preying and trying to attract younger girls.

A large number of people do not know the difference between a paedophile and a sexual predator. Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder that involves being attracted to minors which includes primary or exclusive sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children (not just any person under the age of 18). Child sexual assault is a sex crime that doesn’t involve being involuntarily attracted to a minor, it is performed under the influence of one’s self and choice. You can say, why exactly do we have to know? Well, you should know. Since the surviving R-Kelly documentary existed, I’ve been seeing every case of child molestation tagged as paedophilia and it shows people do not know the difference and if I’m being honest, I think paedophilia is one of those words we use without going out of our way to know what exactly it is. Yes, we have paedophiles who have abused children but compared to non-paedophiles, it is clear that the people who do not suffer from paraphilia tend to molest children out of choice.

Robert Kelly popularly known by his stage name R-Kelly is an American singer-songwriter whose music involves Contemporary R&B, Soul, HipHop and Gospel.

R-Kelly is a paedophile.

R-Kelly fits the description of a paedophile and this isn’t solely based on him having contact with children but based on the abuse he too suffered him as a child, from the age of 7 to 14 he was molested by his family members. Childhood abuse by adults and neurological characteristics present at birth can cause or increase the likelihood of being pedophilic. R-Kelly isn’t just a paedophile, he’s also an abused man who abuses women and always feels the need to be in control of everyone and everything. This isn’t me using his abused past as a form of justification for his behaviour, it is me explaining the obvious “why is he doing this?”. R-Kelly not just being a paedophile is also a rapist and I’m saying this because the women who were abused by him made mention of them not wanting to have sex and him forcing them into having sex.

The R-Kelly case shows just how much the black lives matter movement excludes black women. The R-Kelly case shows just how much black women’s stories would never hold weight as much as the white woman’s story. If you don’t know about the R-kelly story, allow me to brief you. Lifetime, a channel that owns different shows decided to make an R-Kelly documentary for the women who survived abuse from R-Kelly, in this documentary we have women who are now the ages of 27 and more coming forward to speak about the ways they were treated and and handled under R-Kelly’s wing. The R-kelly documentary revealed the sides of R-kelly the world didn’t know about or decided to turn a blind eye too. This documentary touches child molestation, paedophilia, rape, abuse of all kinds and how the music industry protects abusive men and if you haven’t seen it, you should see it.

“An adult man using the power of his fame and wealth to systematically degrade little black girls”. ~ Tarana Burke

As far as I know, everyone has been aware of R-Kelly being a paedophile. The women in Chicago talked about it but it was dismissed, I was always referring to him as one when I was in Nigeria and at 14, I hadn’t come across substantial evidence (survivors) then like I have now. The major reason why these women who were once 14 years old children have to wait for some sort of justice now is because they’re black women. The first time R-Kelly was charged, he was charged with 21 counts of child pornography and was acquitted of all charges. In 2002, a video surfaced the internet of a 14 year old girl being solicited for sex and it showed R-Kelly giving her some money to perform oral sex on him, some would say “but she collected the money” and she did but how the documentary tells the stories from the victims shows that whether or not she collected the money, she still would’ve been forced to perform oral sex. This video was everywhere, it was being sold at affordable prices, played at bars and distributed in thousands but this man wasn’t locked up. I first heard about the tape on the documentary and so I decided to find it, I really shouldn’t have but I did and I saw it. It was disgusting. This little girl was 14 years old but she had the face of an 11 year old child and I couldn’t stomach it. R-Kelly also sexually abused late Aliyah when she was 15 years old while he was 27. If we’re counting the number of black women who came forward to speak, we should have 6 black women.

I see the former coworkers of R-Kelly as fraudulent because they kept silent while all of this was happening, they didn’t say anything and that makes them just as guilty as he is. We had men going to high schools and malls to get children, we had staffs who did the booking of the flights and hotels for R-Kelly to abuse this children so excuse me if I don’t believe in this faux “I didn’t know this was happening”. R-Kelly had a system around him, he operated with a system and everyone that was a part of that system was aware.

In the documentary of R-Kelly, it was shown during his trial that he had a large number of women coming out to support him and be there for him, “they all just want to see a great man fail”. I don’t get it. We see this grown man being accused of child pornography and engaging in non consensual sex with minors but somehow we want to see this great man fail. I find society responsible for the likes of R-Kelly, I find the music industry responsible and I find our communities responsible for men like R-Kelly. We avoid ourselves from seeing even when it’s right there because we do not want to know what our faves are capable of doing.

When we become desperate to connect to an artist’s music, we intentionally ignore the context behind the artistry. We are lost.

All the victims of R-Kelly mentioned R-Kelly forcing them to refer to him as daddy and if you refused to comply you very much would be signing up yourself for food deprivation or a beating. He wanted things done his way only and he commanded everyone to agree with him on everything he said.

Children who are abused want to be in the power position when in a relationship because they never want to be vulnerable to abuse again, and gradually they become the abuser.

Then we have people who are trying to make skits of themselves listening to R-Kelly’s music and laughing about it. News flash, you’re not funny. You’re sick. R-Kelly’s songs and songs he has written for other artists is about his personal life and the girls he has abused. There’s so much to R-Kelly lyrics than just sex, there’s coercion and there’s statutory rape. I can’t separate the art from the artist when the art is indeed the artist, it’s sickening and thinking a number of people would still be okay with listening to Kelly’s music after knowing what it’s about is violence. We also have rape apologists and defenders who claim that a 14 year olds can give sexual consent. They can’t and stop with that harmful narrative. 14 year olds can’t consent to sex with a 27 year old. R-Kelly had a nickname in Chicago to which he was referred to as “Piped piper” and for us to keep blaming the children for what he did is pathetic. Children are impressionable, naive and easy to manipulate, let’s look at what R-Kelly did to the children after they had contact with him, blaming the children for meeting a grown man isn’t going to excuse the violence and dictatorship they suffered.

In the course of exposing R-Kelly and his atrocities, we have people from the black community coming up to claim R-Kelly’s documentary as a form of racism when it really isn’t. I was on Youtube Day searching up for more information about R-Kelly when I saw a video titled “Surviving R-Kelly: Anti Black Propaganda Posing As A Documentary“, I clicked on the video and 53 seconds into the video I concluded it was a hotep speaking and I wasn’t interested in listening. The survivors’s documentary isn’t racism, it’s a story of abuse done by a black man to black women. It’s the story of a violent man.

In conclusion, I think R-Kelly deserves jail time and while serving time, should be checked into the psych ward for treatment. I believe throwing him in jail without trying to attend to him medically would definitely not change the person that he is neither will it put his behaviour in check. He deserves jail time for child pornography, child molestation, physical abuse and statutory rape as well as psychotherapy. He deserves to have his psychiatric disorder treated.

Let’s remember, not all paedophiles are child molesters like R-Kelly and not all child sexual assault is done by paedophiles. I can also be wrong about him being a paedophile seeing as there are different paraphilias, he could be something different.

Thanks for reading!



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To watch the documentary:

R-KELLY documentary

To read the book/open letter:

Daddy’s girl- Sex Me


3 thoughts on “There’s Rape then there’s Paedophilia

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